Brian’s Reflection: Wednesday, October 24, 2007


All the mistakes I ever made were when
I wanted to say 'No' and said 'Yes'.

- Moss Hart, dramatist, born
on this day, 1904


“Merrily We Roll Along”. “My Fair Lady”. “Camelot”. A postage stamp in his honour. Moss Hart certainly enriched the arts. He was a closeted Gay man, though succumbed to marriage to Kitty Carlisle. His death, it is opined, was hastened by deep depression, mood swings and emotional distress caused by the repression of his sexual orientation. Sad, very sad. Perhaps he was thinking about all this when he made the quoted words.

I’m a big “Yes” sayer, when I should say No. It’s a disease of many clergy. We seem to have a terrible desire to please people (though I have known a few clergy who worked from the exact opposite stance!) We simply “forget” that saying Yes to people when we should say No only prolongs a pile of negative and unhelpful results. Many people I know should have said No to getting married. The resulting horror was ….. well, horrible. There are several marriages I agree to officiate at and shouldn’t have. I’ll answer for that!

The Scripture wisely says, “If you mean Yes say Yes, if you mean No say No”. Anything more is of the devil.

Next time, think carefully. “No” can be a very loving response, gently, firmly, lovingly said.

Brian+