Brian’s Reflection: Wednesday, November 21, 2007


The great secret of a successful marriage
is to treat all disasters as incidents and none
of the incidents as disasters.

- Sir Harold Nicholson, English author
and diplomat, married to Vita Sackville-West,
born on this day, 1886


It was quite a marriage to be married to Vita! Believe me - read the historical documents! (Or, don’t read them if you are prone to judgmentalism; it will be perhaps too challenging to your inner life.)

And I might have mentioned before the gardens of Sissinghurst, the Sackville-West’s ancestral home. Stunning! Go there, if you like gardens.

I have gotten to the age to realize that Harold is right. We can spend a lot of sleepless nights worrying about what we think are - and might be in some sense - disasters. But you know, before long, they aren’t. Just think of all the “disasters” that occurred between God and the Israelites, and yet, the relationship continued. God choose to consider all the disasters as incidents, which then became non-disasters.

This is because Love allows you/God/us to see what’s important. When you truly love someone, “disasters” don’t destroy anything. One just deals with them, because the gift of the relationship goes on.

So, take Sir Harold to heart. Keep things in perspective and balanced.

Balance and perspective are always characteristics of a wise person.

Brian+