Brian’s Reflection: Thursday, June 14, 2007


Before he died, Rabbi Zusya said:
"In the world to come they will not ask me,
'Why were you not Moses?'
"They will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?'"

- Legend about Hasidic rabbi, Zusya of Hanipoli


Who of us knows who we really are?? Or how we got to be who we “are” at this stage of things? Personally, I don’t think we will know fully who we are in this Life. Something tells me that this earthly Life is an ongoing process. Constant change, adaptation, rethinking, shifting, learning, making decisions, changing our mind. At least, that’s what my life has been for 60 years. Is this a typical INFP thing - that “type” or personality who is constantly expecting new revelations, and so puts off making any “definite” decisions about the nature of being lest there be further input? Or do the other 15 types do the same thing??

Me - I know it’s “I”, but anyway - I’ve trained myself to change my mind about things. Not little things – those are hard! (I always put the towels on the towel rack with the seam inside and the two ends aligned - always. It’s not sick; just a simple illusion of order – how can that hurt???) But BIG things! Why, just this year, I have completely changed what I believe about Christianity. Didn’t hurt a bit. In fact, it was very liberating. I feel as if I discovered something that has been living inside me unarticulated for a long time which suddenly found Voice. And I felt I became more “I”. To say nothing of God.

God may greet me at the Pearly Gates with a laugh, and perhaps with a wish that I had been someone other than Brian! God will just be kidding of course. But I will have to bite back the temptation to ask Her, “So, couldn’t I have had a few more years “down there” with a little more certainty?

And ….. “So, how so You hang Your towels????”

Brian+