Brian’s Reflection: Tuesday, December 18, 2007 (corrected; ignore the one below)


I honour those who try
to rid themselves of any lying,
who empty the self
and have only clear being there.

- Rumi, Sufi poet


One of the things I liked about being a monk was the period of self-examination at Compline, the last monastic office (common prayer) of the day. I think people probably didn’t like it when I was the Officiant. Because I always left a relatively long pause for the self-examination. It was a time of utter quiet, the chapel hopefully in softened light. And there was always something ….. well, sensible about taking a few minutes to look at the day past and see where one might have strayed from one’s resolved path. There were always plenty! But it seemed to help that self-examination at the end of the day was (a) a habit and (b) encouraged an honesty that was liberating.

Alas, I don’t do that much anymore. Usually only when something goes wrong, or when I am challenged. Then I think it seems or is experienced in a more traumatic way - and one is less open to being honest, becomes more easily defensive. Compline began with the words, “Be sober, be watchful”. It’s good advice.

“Clear being.” The implication is that there is a “pure core” at the centre of us all. I’m not so sure. I think I tend to believe that we human beings are more “gray area”, even at the core. I don’t accept the theology which says there was a “Fall” from sinlessness to sin. My understanding of the Garden of Eden story is that, like Jesus’ parables, the details of the story are not the point. In my view, the story simply says that we are creatures who can choose either love and truth, or not. Perhaps the “clear being” is simply a grasp on what makes us most gloriously human.

I’ve never liked saying the Offices alone. But maybe I’ll take up saying Compline again, just for that quiet few minutes of self-examination at the end of the day. (Besides, who in our days wouldn’t value a bit of quiet peace at day’s end!)

Brian+