Brian’s Reflection: Tuesday, December 11, 2007


HERE

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be

at last a womanin the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips.

- Grace Paley, born on this day,
1922, in Manhattan


“Well, that’s who I wanted to be.” Charming! Do most of know who or what we want to be? Not most of the people I know. And I, well ….. it changes a lot. I have this feeling that it’s going to keep on changing a lot. It has to. I think new things. I learn new things. Things of inner wisdom, whether that be little or much.

Rich. Healthy. Honoured. Beautiful. No, these are all Sic Transit Gloria Mundi. Maybe, maybe not - too many variables and happenstances.

Content with who I am? Ah, well, that’s up to me. I’d like to be content ….and thinner. But I’ll settle for content and grudgingly plump. And instead of wearing purple, I’ll dye my beard and wear hippie caftans.

Brian+